I love holidays. That concentrated amount of time that somehow feels brighter, more focused, perhaps because I’m more alert to opportunities for experience, for fun. Perhaps because seeing myself and my family out of context gives me that all important shift in perception and reminds me just how miraculous and wonderful it is that we belong together.

The night before we came home, we ate at a really great steakhouse and we laughed so hard together that I couldn’t stop laughing, aware somewhere in my mind that our little boys (not so little now) are people that I don’t just love and want to help grow and protect, but people I really like. People in whose company I find joy.

Andy and I shared looks across the table, perhaps both realising at the same time, perhaps just happy to be in that moment with them and each other.

We ate well on this holiday. It felt as though we trod a satisfying line between nourishing our bodies well and indulging our wants. I made choices I’m proud of and gave myself room to have the things I wanted too. Or the things I thought I wanted. I bought two pieces of rich creamy fudge at one place, realising after a bite of each that it was just the taste I wanted, so handed them to Sam. Tall, slender, athletic Sam, who ate them in a bite, probably offering to share them with his Dad, though I didn’t see that.

At the steakhouse, there was a huge steak, covered in rich mushroom sauce, followed by coffee and a piece of dense, warm chocolate cake, sitting on a puddle of melted ganache, a tiny bowl of ice-cream nestled by it. I dug my spoon in and closed my eyes with remembered taste, enjoying every second. Half-way through it I knew I didn’t need it anymore and passed it across the table without regret.

How times have changed.

I counted 7294 steps on the first day (well I didn’t but my trusty Omron pedometer did) and 6800 steps on the last day. Beyond that all I know is that we moved a lot on our holiday, laughed a lot, hugged a lot.

and today is weigh-in day….

which I’ll document in its own post