Tag Archive: breathing


This pre-planning stuff is a good idea! Today, wrested from sleep with offers of coffee, the very last thing I wanted to do was go for an ‘exercise walk’. Luckily for me, I’d already planned our day (with help from the kids). So after making a batch of roasted chick peas with garlic, salt and chilli and dividing almonds into little bags of 75cals each, in case I need a quick snack sometime, I pulled on my trusty (not often used) pink trainers and off we went!

The Koala Hospital was the first stop. It’s small and peaceful and interesting, with slumbering round, grey-furred creatures looped around their trees or stands. We sipped water and read the signs telling stories of koalas past and present and then prepared to leave. On the way out, I noticed (for the first time, and how can that be?!) The beautifully restored house on the same property and it was open! We walked through it and imagined how lovely it must have been to live somewhere so cool and pretty and private.

From there to the beach, munching fresh cool peaches that I’d stashed in the centre console of the car. It’s summer here, so it was hot and breezy and so….alive! I sometimes forget how amazing it is outside.

I left Andy and the kids making their way to the water and began walking up the beach, mapmywalk app set and water in my bag. I walked until I felt my feet starting to hurt and turned around then. Not because I couldn’t have kept going particularly but because this is early days and I want to be able to sustain it, rather than wear myself out on the first day.

Gorgeous beach!

Gorgeous beach!!"Come a bit closer....now just a bit closer"“Come a bit closer….now just a bit closer”

To be improved on but not a bad start :-)

To be improved on but not a bad start 🙂


The beach is officially my new favourite place to walk. Long stretches of sand, with the wind to whip away the sound of my laboured breathing and hardly anyone there, save a few passers-by with dogs or people doing their own walking for the day.

Roll on Monday, I’m ready!!


But What Does It Mean?

Well what does it mean, ‘Walking Back To Myself’?

Simply put it means that somewhere along the way, the me I knew and loved, my authentic, healthy, happy me, and the me that I am now, parted ways. It’s not like she and I had a falling out, more of a “Hey, I’m just going over to check this out, see you later”, that turned into a long absence through distraction and lack of directions home again.

But I miss her. It’s the little things that make me think of her. Like walking past a shop window, absently noting the plump, middle-aged motherly woman in the window and realising with a jolt of shock that it’s me.. Or walking around the supermarket and becoming breathless. Perhaps it’s my perennial weariness and my reluctance to commit to anything that will take me away from my computer screen, lest it tire me too much.

From that description, you might think that I have some illness, but I don’t. I’m just sedentary and overweight. My mind rockets all over the place but my body simply can’t keep up because it’s been so long since I asked it to.

For quite a long time, I was very fit. I cycled and swam and walked. I was healthy and strong, I loved to dance and dress in lovely clothes. I was adventurous and excited by life. I loved that.


while looking at Pinterest one day, as you do, I found this image and a spark of something flickered in me. I could do that! I spend time at my computer anyway, what if I walked while I did it? What a revolutionary idea! Why had no-one thought of it before?! Of course, it turns out they had. That in fact, all over the internet, there are websites and video clips devoted to the treadmill desk and all the advantages of walking as opposed to sitting, or in my case, often lying in front of a screen. Just look it up, they’re everywhere. Apparently sitting for long periods of the day is killing us….slowly…which made me laugh, until I remembered that these days I sometimes have to use a Ventolin inhaler and that my back aches significantly when I walk any distance. It’s definitely a case of ‘Use it or Lose it’ for me.

What ensued was a two day research frenzy. It wasn’t pretty but it was exciting and sometimes frustrating, as I tried to find the very best way to make my work station into a walk station. I use the word work loosely, since I don’t actually work at my computer, so much as read, write and communicate on it

This is the beginning of my journey. A journey which, though it may have twists and turns, will eventually lead me back to myself. I imagine her standing with open arms, walking towards me and saying, when I reach her “What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for you”

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