Tag Archive: motivation

Reflecting With Casserole

My family were out tonight, a long drive to a sports event. The net result was that I had an evening to myself and I planned to use it relaxing and eating a lovely meal while doing nothing more arduous than watching TV or possibly surfing the ‘net.

As soon as the house was quiet, I set to work making my beef casserole for one.

A piece of steak, a carrot, an onion, half a cauliflower, a couple of sliced sun dried tomatoes, tabasco sauce (because I’ve run out of chillies) a sachet of bouquet garni, chopped garlic and some thai basil, picked fresh. To which I added a carton of beef stock. I keep reading on other people’s blogs about their beautiful homemade stock and maybe I’ll make one sooner or later but for now…the carton.

In it all went, into my beloved red cast iron casserole dish and then into the oven.

While it’s cooking, just a quick catch up on the last couple of days. I’ve been feeling a bit low, which might be a hormonal thing, or might be connected with losing weight and not ‘eating my feelings’, a suggestion that’s been made on forums. It could be that I guess but it feels a bit sort of….nebulous to me and I like something I can wrap my mind around…

Either way, it’s been hard to stay on track when all I really wanted to do was hide under several duvets, under a bed, in a cave, in the darkest part of a forest. Somehow, the ‘Just keep moving’ mantra, coupled with some loving encouragement from my family (which I thought was very brave of them, considering), meant that I did indeed keep moving, if in a bit of a daze.

Yesterday was the worst of it, sitting at my desk, still and quiet, reading and ignoring the world. I walked finally, but only for 25 minutes and without any real pleasure. It was a ‘because I said I would’ sort of walk.

Today has been better but I was still feeling quiet, so instead of walking, I went to yoga for an hour and a half, which turns out to be the best thing I could possibly have done. I felt immeasurably better after it. In spite of myself, I also walked for 45 minutes. Tonight I felt a shift in mood and I’m pretty confident that tomorrow I’ll be back to normal again. I even feel excited at the thought of going for a ‘one foot in front of the other’ walk, moving my body for as long as it can handle it.

I’ve stuck to the food pretty well. I guess we’ll see tomorrow, on weigh-in day.

Okay, so after an hour, the smells from the oven were filling the kitchen, warming everything beautifully. I took the lid off, stirred and put it back in to reduce a bit, for 15 minutes. When it came out it was just gorgeous! I’d have taken a photo but it was too good to waste time recording it, I just wanted to taste it.

When the bowl was empty and I sat, replete, watching The Big Bang Theory, I suddenly wondered with a second of concern, how it was possible for it to have tasted so very fabulous? What was in the stock? How many calories was it? I’d have got up to look but I was so comfy and there was a shallow dish of green grapes at my elbow….In the middle of wondering, everyone burst through the door and there was a flurry of hellos and kisses and news, part of which was Zac telling me all about the awesome Hungry Jack’s meal they’d consumed on the way home. He described Whoppers and sundaes and fries and refillable drinks and in the midst of it, I had to laugh.

In the scheme of things, I think my beef casserole and grapes were just fine. 🙂

It’s been a funny few days. I haven’t gone off the rails, descended into a giant binge or drifted from my goal but I have been disorganised. Apart from Friday night…..

On Friday afternoon, still mildly in the grip of cravings that I couldn’t seem to quell altogether, despite having had a good breakfast, I decided to stop fighting it and instead, plan for it. I had a really good think about what it was I wanted, what would satisfy my want for food indulgence, without leaving me feeling dashed afterwards.

It took a little while of thinking while I did other things but I finally had it. A really good BBQ. With several different sorts of meat. and ice cream with fruit for dessert. Mmmm

So, I went shopping and later my family were treated to a royal feast. We had Thai chicken sausages (low fat, they didn’t know), steak, marinated lamb, pork steak and tiny burger patties (also low fat).

To go with this, we had vege skewers, which I assembled from chopped capsicum, squash, zucchini and mushroom. Also on the menu were corn on the cob, barbecued and a small amount of chips, oven cooked.

If this sounds like a lot of food, that’s because it was. Though it has to be said that the amounts of meat were maybe less than you’re imagining.

Later we had Weiss ice-cream bars, at 80 calories a go, followed by a small plate each of watermelon, pawpaw and mango.

By the end of the night, snuggled on the couch with my family, coffee in hand, watching a movie, I was completely and totally full and cured of any further need to binge. Or even to think about bingeing.

The thing is….that on my plate that night….there was a chicken sausage, corn cob, a few chips, a small part of each other sort of meat and a couple of vege skewers. And I stopped before it was all gone. Because I didn’t need to eat until I felt sick, I just needed that feeling of indulgence. It’s something of triumph actually. I didn’t go overboard. I planned it and I felt good about it…and my family were glad of it too.

I imagine that some people will read this and wonder what all the fuss is about but losing weight and getting fit, as far as I can tell, requires getting past the psychological hurdles we set up for ourselves as much as doing the practical stuff which will get us to our goal.

I know that there are times in my cycle when I feel more hungry, less energetic, needing more comforting things. Now I also know that I can handle it, that I didn’t fall.

Oh, and before I forget, I discovered Cauliflower Rice and it’s delicious and has many fewer calories than white rice rice. (24 calories as opposed to 160 calories per 100 grams)

Here’s the video I got the recipe from. I cooked it for two minutes, covered, in the microwave, instead of adding oil or butter. Still yummo.

and here’s what it looked like in my bowl, with Red Chicken Curry 🙂


The Weigh-In 2

So it’s that time of the week again, the time when I get to see what the scales say and although I’m happy, walking and eating well, blogging and becoming healthier, I was intensely curious to see what they’d say.

Result? 1.1kg lighter, bringing the total, since the 1st of this month, to a loss of 5.3kg. Not bad going.

I think the motto for this week is ‘Hold Fast’. I know I’m moving in the right direction, that I’m building muscle where before there was much less. I just have to hold my course and wait to see the results rolling in.

Resistance is Futile

You can say that in a Dalek voice if you need to. I know that’s how I heard it yesterday when I said it to myself, puffing up a hill in the heat of the day.

Because this week, my subconscious me, or the me who’s afraid of change, or whatever it is, has been coming up with an amazing amount of resistance. I’ve had a sore foot, a mouth ulcer, a sore tooth. I’ve been tired, achey, cross, busy, too hot, you name it. It hasn’t stopped me but it’s made it harder than it needs to be. Until finally, yesterday, overheated and sweating, just putting one foot in front of the other, I told myself, without really thinking about it or realising the significance of the words; ‘Resistance is futile’.

As soon as I said it, I laughed, because it’s such a Doctor Who thing to say, but I said it again anyway because laughing or not, I mean it. I’m not stopping.

Today my mouth ulcer has gone, my shoulders are ache-free, I don’t feel that motivation-sucking weariness and we walked….and we walked and walked and walked.

Maybe it’s coincidence but I like to imagine that the message got through….

NB: ‘We’ is me and Zac, telling each other stories all the way 🙂

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