So, I’m having a moment. You know those dreaded ones, filled with self-doubt and an intangible sense of doom? I meander along quite happily a lot of the time, able to cope with whatever I need to and then, wham. There it is. A day where I wonder if I’ll actually ever finish that novel and send it to a publisher, whether I’ll ever really lose the weight, whether any of my fond, precious hopes will come to fruition and I feel like the ‘Emperor with no clothes’, waking suddenly to a realisation that I’ve been deceiving myself.

On a normal day, my answer to myself, as it is now, is that those things are up to me. That focus, intention and action are the way to get them done…..and I believe that. On nights like tonight though, my courageous, bright inner self, lies curled somewhere inside me, hiding from the light and feeling as though she might just stay here and be very, very still.

It won’t last long. It never does and it’s not something I would often share but it happens and it’s as much a part of my life as any other.

As Ashleigh Brilliant wrote “I Try to Take One Day at a Time, but Sometimes Several Days Attack Me at Once.”

 

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EDIT: Just after I finished writing this post, I read a post by Ella,  The Lavender Sage, in which she had embedded this video. I listened to it and felt immediately much better than I had before. Oh the roller coasterishness of it all!!!

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